Secretly Dying On The Inside
by CuttieGirll57
Summary: The gang are all hiding secrets. Rocky is depressed. CeCe is anorexic. Ty is a drug addict. Deuce has abusive parents. Gunther hates himself. Tinka is a prostitute. And Flynn is noticing all this. CeCe/Rocky & Deuce/Ty later on, so don't like don't read.
1. Realization

**Flynn's POV**

It's an ordinary Saturday night. We're all here, in my house, me, my sister, Rocky, Ty, Deuce, Gunther and Tinka. Everyone's watching TV and eating pizza. Well, everyone except for CeCe, who claims she had a big lunch. Strangely, I don't think I ever see her eating.

Sitting next to her, is Rocky, who, as usual, is staring blankly at the screen, obviously not paying attention to the show we're watching. Lately, she's even more boring than usual, not even bothering to start a conversation anymore.

Then there's Deuce, who, for some strange reason, is wearing tons of clothes, covering every single part of his body, except for his face, when it's so hot he shouldn't be wearing more than a T-shirt and shorts. Is he sick or something?

Ty keeps making up excuses to go to the bathroom. Constantly. He pretends he watches the show, but keeps leaving. Then comes back looking and acting all weird. What's he doing there anyway?

Next to me is Gunther, who keeps smiling for no reason. But there's something weird about that smile. It doesn't seem...real. He actually seems kinda sad.

His twin sister, Tinka, is constantly looking at her watch nervously. She seems like she's in a hurry but doesn't want to tell us.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go." the blond girl suddenly says, standing up.

"Where are you going? I can come with you if you want." her twin brother tells her, confused.

"No! I mean...You know I told you I got a job, I have to go now." Why does she seem so scared? Is she hiding something?

"This late?"

"It's...complicated. Bye!" With that, Tinka left the house.

"Well, that was weird." CeCe says, looking at her best friend. "Rocks? Is everything alright?"

"Huh? Yeah, I was just...daydreaming. Sorry." the tanned girl gives one of her goofy smiles. God, is she hiding something too? Now her smile looks almost like Gunther's!

"You sure you don't want some pizza, Ce?" Deuce asks, showing my sister the plate which contained only two more slices.

"Yeah, I told you, I ate a lot at lunch, I'm full." she answers, then chuckles a little. "Deuce, we're not in Antarctica, you can take off at least some of your clothes." The heavily dressed boy just ignores the comment.

"Yeah dude, you look ridiculous!" Ty says laughing, as he comes back from the bathroom.

"Me? You look like you're high!"

Silence.

It's so obvious now that I got to observe them: they're all acting strange because they're hiding something.

I know they're all bad secrets that I shouldn't know off. I'm just a kid after all, but I see more than they know.

I'm gonna find out what's going on with my friends.


	2. Tears, Blood and Lies

**Rocky's POV**

As soon as I enter the house, I run to my room and start crying my eyes out.

I just got another bad grade. I'm so stupid that I can't even concentrate on studying anymore. All I do is think about her. And how I'll never have her.

I've always loved my best friend, but lately, the feelings started becoming much stronger. And it's driving me crazy. I love her, but I can't be with her. She'll never love me back.

I'm becoming dumber and dumber. My perfect school grades are now ruined. People don't talk to me anymore because I stopped starting conversations.

Why did it have to be this way? Of all people, why did I have to fall for her, my straight best friend?

If I ever told her about my feelings, she'd freak out. She'd hate me and stop being my best friend. I can't risk that. Her friendship's all I got. But it's still not enough.

What am I saying? I'm not enough! I'm not good enough for her and I will never be! I mean, how in the world could a girl as awesome, as fun, as beautiful as CeCe be into someone like me?

I stare at my scared wrist. Does cutting actually work? No matter how many times I do it, it still doesn't take my mind off of her. Yet, I still try in hope that it might possibly work. I quickly grab my razor.

I slowly start making a deep cut, hoping it will help. My tears fall along with the blood, wetting the floor. Doesn't matter, I'll clean later.

The pain is deep, but I don't scream. I did that the first time, but I got so used to it that it feels...almost normal. Pretty much my daily routine.

Someone knocks at the door. Oh no, think, QUICK!

"Hey sis, are you in there?" What the hell does Ty want? Oh, God! Wristbands, I need wristbands!

"Just a second!"

I quickly search through my drawers 'till I find two purple wristbands. I put them on, covering the wounds I caused earlier. I put two more on, so the blood won't go through them. I open the door to see my brother standing there impatiently.

"What do you want, Ty?" I ask trying to control my voice so he won't notice that I've been crying. I've become kind of a good actress lately. And I'm not proud of it.

"You know how you're always saving money..." Uh uh, I know where this is going. Why does he keep asking for money from everyone and how does he spend it so quickly? Well, we're siblings after all, I guess I can give him some. I roll my eyes and get some money out of the drawer.

"Not much but here you go." I say handing him the money, faking a smile.

"Thanks, sis, you're the best!" he tells me, smiling back.

"What are you hiding there?" I ask realizing that he had his left hand behind the whole time.

"Whoa, sorry, I'm in a hurry, gotta go!" Who the hell does he think he's fooling?

"Ty, I know you have something there. Tell me what you're hiding right now!"

"It's nothing! Wait, what's that?" Oh my God, he's pointing to the other side of the room! He saw the blood on the floor!

"But you know, you're right. Who am I to keep you busy? It doesn't matter, you can go, see ya later!" I quickly say trying to take his eyes off the floor.

"But..." Before he can say anything back, I slam the door in his face.

When have we become like this? To the point where we can't tell each other secrets anymore?

I feel more tears coming out of my eyes, because of CeCe, because of Ty, because of me...

God, I'm so messed up. 


	3. Losing Contact With Reality

**Ty's POV**

"You got the money?"

"I got it."

I give my friend, Jake, half of the money my sister gave me. I feel kinda bad for using her like this, but still, not enough to stop doing it.

Yes, I know I'm a horrible person. I've come to accept that. I know I should try to change, but it's just too damn hard.

I knew my life was going to change the second I started hanging out with my current friends. Or, how my mom calls them, 'the wrong crowd'. She and Rocky have no idea I hang out with them, 'cause I know they would flip if they found out. Not even my best friend, Deuce, knows. It's no that I don't trust him, I know he wouldn't tell. I just feel kind of ashamed. I don't want him to know what kind of life I have when I'm not with him. I don't want him to feel pity for me or something. I think it's better to keep it secret from everyone.

I sigh as the dealer gives us the drugs and we go to our usual place. Alone, so nobody can bust us. One of my friends told me if someone catches us and threatens to tell, we'll have to kill the person. I never told the others, but that thought really scares me, which is another reason I go out of my way to never get caught.

We don't say anything. Like usual, there's only one thing we pay attention to right now: the drugs. Jake prefers taking pills, while I prefer injecting them. Honestly, pills just make me throw up.

I inject the drug in the usual spot, on my left arm, waiting for the reality to just disappear. This is the point now, really. At first, when I started hanging out with Jake and the others, I had just done it to see what it feels like. From the second try, I was hooked. Now I'm constantly craving the drugs, I always hide them in my bag for when I really can't go on without them. It used to be for fun, now it's for necessity. When the craving gets really bad, I feel like I'm going to die if I don't do anything about it. And it's probably true. That's the price of being addicted.

I remember once it got really bad at school, and I took my anger out on Deuce. Of course I didn't tell him what was going on, which confused him even more. I just started shouting and yelling for no reason and I almost hit him. I really hope I'll never get like that around Deuce again, I could never forgive myself if I hurt him in some way.

Fortunately, Jake helps me control these things. He's been like this longer than me, so he knows better. I know what you think, I shouldn't hang out with him, he's the problem, he got me into this trouble. Believe it or not, despite all this, Jake is a really good friend. He's the only one I can really talk you and he understands me, being pretty much in the same situation. He's the one I can always count on.

The effects are taking over me. I sigh. I wish it would take faster. I just want the pain to stop, I want to get away from all this. I look at Jake, a relieved expression on his face. I'm slowly but surely losing contact with reality.


End file.
